Dear Working Mom,
I’m proud of you. Back at it and it’s like you never left. Same commute, colleagues and clients. While many things haven’t changed, you know very well that you’ve changed. For you, being a mom remains priority and working mom comes second. In that first week, the working mom gig definitely had its perks. Wearing heels, drinking hot coffee, engaging in adult conversation and your all-time favourite, not having to share your lunch.
However, as time went on, working mom became priority, but really the business was priority and you adjusted. Things at home were changing too. You were always the “go-to person” and the “expert” as the stay at home mom. Suddenly, that vanished and your opinion became secondary at times.
Luckily, hubby has a flexible schedule working from home 90% of the time. So, dealing with drop offs and pickups at daycare and the library wasn’t impacting you. But it did, because at times you’d lose track of time and you’d be coming home after dinner and you’d walk into the house feeling like an asshole. So, the next night out of guilt, you’d try to make up for it by leaving on time to come home, make dinner and somehow someone told the kids that they could eat cereal instead. You bit your tongue, smiled and instead asked your kids how their day went. Because you know that you couldn’t be an asshole two days in a row.
You regretted the decision to go back full time because you really missed the boys. Rushing home after work to eat dinner, to play a bit and to get them ready for bed really sucked.
But as the weeks turned into months, your whole family adjusted and fell into a rhythm. A village was in place to help care for the boys. You found the right balance of projects professionally and still juggled to get “me” time in.
Did you feel guilty at times? Yes! Did you feel fulfilled at times? Yes! But when you spoke to other working moms, they assured you that these feelings were normal and that it was okay to feel both guilty and fulfilled.
Remember, I’m proud of you. You’re approaching one year of being back as a “working mom”. You work with a great team in an industry that falls in line with your values. And, you’re working harder now than you had ever worked in your life. You work harder to ensure that your boys remain priority even if that means getting to work late because of extra cuddles, sleep deprivation because you’re up late keeping up with the job or not cancelling the mommy and me date because you’re hella tired.