Lessons Learned after Having a Caregiver

We’ve had Nana with us since the boys were six weeks old and she’s played such a huge part in raising M & B.  In the last five or so years, we’ve been blessed (cliché I know, but it’s true) to have her as part of our family.  What started off as part time, quickly became full time caregiving.  Nana’s a talented and loving woman who not only took care of the boys, but took care of hubby and I too.

Here is what I’ve learned over the years:

She’s Taken Care of Me – if someone’s going to see you at your most vulnerable (other than your partner/husband), it’s your nanny.  As mentioned previously, Nana started with us early into my maternity leave so we were together all the time.  I nursed and pumped and I used to be conservative and pumped privately or had a towel cover on.  But I remember I was on the brink of filling up a bottle pumping and didn’t have another on hand.  The boys were by my side and she came in with a bottle, took my milk and was gone.  I also remember days where the boys were napping in the car and we’d be driving around getting errands done and we’d be chatting about life, her family and motherhood.

I Am Their Mother – were there times where the boys preferred to be with Nana over me?  Yes.  Were there times where I was hurt by this?  Hell … Yes!  But, when they’re with Nana all day .. every day, it was inevitable.  It didn’t bother me too much because my boys are quite affectionate and vocal about their love for their mama.  But those days when I came home from a bad day at work and all I wanted to do was make it all go away by cuddling up with my boys and they didn’t reciprocate.  I may or may not have cried in the bathroom on one or two occasions. But on the serious tip, I will always be their mother  and that doesn’t change anything.

You Won’t Always See Eye to Eye – and that’s okay.  I came into motherhood with zero experience.  Nana’s had years of experience, years of patience and she brought that added touch to the family.  Also, I’ve come to realize that my mothering style is different, especially when it comes to discipline.  I would say that my hubby and Nana were similar in forms of disciplining, meanwhile I go from zero to one hundred and once you’ve crossed the line, there is no turning back.  A less intense approach is probably the way to go, but intense works with me.

Having someone care for your kids and live in your house is not for everyone.  When we found out we were having twins, we knew that we’d be getting a nanny but we just didn’t know what that would look like or what it meant.  Nana came into our world because the stars aligned and when they say it takes a village to raise children, she was the village.

Nana